a letter to Kathleen

Dear Kathleen,

        I am the employer of your mother Ana Marie. I am writing this to you ‘coz I don’t want you to get the wrong impression that we are just some wealthy far away strangers who rob your mother from you. We want to tell you how grateful we are to your mother, and what is the meaning of this relationship to our family.

        My child Tung-tung is suffering from autistic spectrum disorder or ASD for short. You may wonder what this is, so do I. Right now may be only God knows the exact cause of it. I can only tell you that though he appears just to be a cute, delightful kid, right now at the age of 7, he can’t use words to speak for himself, and his movements are clumsy. He can only follow very primitive instructions. In short, he is nearly an infant.

        The heartbreaking moments that I’ve experienced are beyond what words can describe. The idea of storytelling to my boy, of explaining the amazing world to him someday, may in fact be a luxury. And you cannot imagine how tough life can be in raising such a kid.

        To this the encounter of your mother is a godsend to us. Your mom is indeed so faithful and dedicated to her job, that this time we really can have peace of mind when we are attending to making our own living. And it is really wonderful to see the boy to gain progress, no matter how slightly, amid the love and caring relationship now he has developed with Ana.

        You may still complain that I want my mother back, that I am rightfully entitled to her love. You may say that you look to the love and attention of your mother, and my little kid should do the same. But you see the same money issues apply to both cases. Now my kid’s mother goes outside to work, she can earn more money, and can provide a more secured future for the kid and the family.

        Have you heard of a movie called “Babel”? The story goes that a gunshot links up people in Morocco, U.S., Mexico, and Japan in a mysterious way. Somehow we are all connected.

        I sincerely urge you to consider the idea of allowing your mom to spend a few more years with my boy, to witness his progress. I do acknowledge that you miss your mom, thereby I advise her to take a vacation back to Philippines, that she can spend time with you, talk to you, hug and kiss you day and night. In case you still feel that you need her to be alongside with you through your teenage years, the choice is always yours. But I do think that if she can help us out a few more years, while she can save up more money, then as you grow up, going up to college or any other dreams will be more accessible, that you can be freer later on.

        It is always a matter of trade-offs and balances, and we cannot always get all we want. The most sensible thing is to look and plan ahead, and sometimes sacrifice something in return for other things.

        I want to emphasize that your mother loves you always, no matter where she is. And true love should not be bounded by time or space.